THE TRUE MEANING OF SHUTTING THE HELL UP
Maggie H is a Global Explorer and Wellness Advocate from Hong Kong. Among many spiritual endeavors, Maggie practices and leads Qigong meditation to help people around the world find their inner balance. Find out more about this and other Eastern Philosophy & Meditation practices every Monday on the ICBRKR blog.
“Be deaf for three years, be mute for three years and be blind for three years.”
The words of wisdom from a mother to a daughter before the daughter gets married and moves into the in-law's place in the old days of Korea. It's not being practiced anymore my grandmother had given her the same advice but up until the time when my mother got married.
In the olden days, being a daughter-in-law was a precarious position until she produced sons to carry on a family lineage. As a newcomer, she holds the lowest and the weakest rank in the family where she remains an outsider with a different last name and has to re-learn everything to become a proper member in the shortest possible time. In addition, to expedite the process, she has a Drill Sargent also known as the mother-in-law. She's another outsider-became-a-member who is the current in charge of the entire family affairs but she's also a foe at the moment, as opposed to being a friend.
However, when the training is over and the mother-in-law retires one day, the baton will be handed over to the daughter-in-law.
It sounds just like a new job position at any well-established company. In this new environment, the best way to adapt and learn to become a productive member is to drop all your habits and attitude and observe as much as you can.
Being deaf, mute, and blind means observing and accepting everything without expressing our opinions and feelings. The best way to exchange different opinions is that we first have to pay attention to the other people's opinions and fully understand their arguments before speaking to avoid misunderstanding and to reach an agreement effectively. It used to take 9-10 years for the daughter-in-law to voice her opinions and by then, not only she has fully understood the family custom but also mastered the ways to deal with each one of them.
Most retreats require silence. Staying away from worldly life, we solely focus on ourselves for a while. Since we eat simple food, wear simple and comfortable clothes, and do not need to look ourselves in the mirror, we are able to focus only on our minds. We observe the thoughts that are arising and ceasing and how our emotions go up and down by them as a third person.
After practicing silence, we realize how energy-draining it is to speak and how unnecessary it is to express everything we feel and think. Because at most times, we already know through each other's body language, facial expressions, or just simply through sensing the vibes.
Often, at a temple, we see some individuals practicing silence among regular people wearing a tag on their chests saying 'silence'. So people do not talk to them and leave them alone, not even saying hello or thank you.
The true meaning of silence is not just simply isolating ourselves like a hermit but to hold our thoughts and opinions to ourselves for once and hear others without any judgement and pre-conceived notion. In that silence, we gain wisdom to solve problems and the power to embrace others.
How about practicing the silence of holding opinions and observing our thoughts and surroundings around once a week? I believe that would be the true meaning of shutting the hell up.